5 weeks 3 days

"They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will mediatate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds." Psalm 145:5-6

I haven't been clear in my expression of our good news.
I haven't been saying the most important thing first.

This pregnancy is a Gift from God.

And when the worrying of miscarriages and birth defects try to attack me - I remember that this wouldn't be possible without Him- and if He wants something to happen, it will happen. And He wanted this pregnancy to happen.

This baby is so loved ... by Nick and I ... by our family and friends ... and by God and Jesus. It doesn't get much more amazing than that!

4 weeks 5 days

Only 8 months and 2 days to go!! :)

So far - I basically just feel hungover! Very tired - nauseous - and hungry. The only time I feel good is when I'm eating, and that only lasts about 5 minutes before the food starts to taste gross and I'm done with it.

If there's ever an hour or so when I feel normal - I get worried something's wrong - but I just keep telling myself that the waiting is the easy part, and worrying won't get me anywhere!!

First u/s is going to be April 6th - so I'll update then!

When you're down on your hope ... God always has a surprise for you!!

Sunday Morning - 12 dpiui - I took a internet cheapie test, but then fell back asleep. When I woke up, there was a definate line ... but it was blurred w/ the pink dye, so could have been just an evaporation line.

Monday Morning - 13 dpiui - scared to take real test, Nick says "Don't do it." I say, "Yeah right"
Took two tests ... both show two lines ... broke out the digital and it said "PREGNANT"
Unbelievable - we were both in shock all day long!

First Beta Test Monday afternoon = hcg levels at 85. A decent number for 13 dpo.

Second Beta Test Wednesday afternoon = hcg levels at 235, more than doubling!!

I gotta call tomorrow morning to schedule the first ultrasound, it will be early to make sure that all implantation is in the right spot and to check on how many beans are in there ... I'm fairly certain only one with my numbers!

It's still super early (4wks2days to be exact) so we are nervous about a m/c ... but since we chose to be so open and honest about our Infertility journey, we decided to just shout it out ot the world now :)

Baby VandenBerg ... coming Dec. 2009!

9dpiui

No real update ... just updating to update I guess. Wait ....

Wait ....


Cry ....


Wait ....


Hope ....


Wait...

1dpiui

IUI #4 went smoothly - good numbers all around. I actually felt the best afterwards that I have ever before - not too crampy or anything. Emotionally, I do not feel the best and I am not very hopeful. It just seems unrealistic that God will give me a baby in the time I want it the most. But then again - He loved Jacob, and he was far from perfect.

The waiting (for the 16th time) begins ...

CD 10 = 1 Big One

Well - the ultrasound today showed one dominant follie on my right side, no big players on the left. I was disappointed because two or three definately gives us a better chance - and my left feels full to me so I don't get why it's hurting me when there's nothing there!!

Lining was good - above an 8 so that's awesome for this point.

IUI #4 is scheduled for 2:00pm tomorrow ... 30 hours after the HcG shot, so I'm pretty comfortable with that timing.

And then the next round of waiting begins ...

The Lord God is our light and protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will the Lord withold from those who do what is right. Psalm 84:11

CD5 - First shot!!

I just gave myself my first shot ~ not as bad as I thought, though it's stinging a little now and I'm not sure if that's normal or not!! *shrugs*

I'm just anxious to make it through this month - not super convinced it's going to work because my blood test is probably going to be the same day as Molly's baby shower - and that would just be too easy to find out I'm pregnant on the same day. That doesn't mean that I'm not excited to meet my niece - it just means that I wish so badly I could have a cousin for her in me before she gets here!

Ok ... off to get LOST and forget about all the fertility stuff for a while!